I was so ready to give you a second chance, the guy broke your heart and you called me. I consoled you, and literally a half hour later he says one thing and you forgave him. He feigned ignorance and you forgave him. Less than a week after you leave me, and this is what you do? What the fuck, do you even care about me like you say. At least wait a little bit before moving on, it was like as if you never loved me at all. I was there to catch you when he threw you away, but all he did was decided he wanted to pick up the scraps and you come running to him like a dog to her owner. You are serisouly going to let him be “friends” after all you do. He didnt know that we broken up, he couldnt have just asked one simple 5 word question of, arent you with your boyfriend? As simple as that, instead he stated that he led you on, he purposely stole you from me and you let him. I thought I had loved you, so I said it again when you were crying, now I regret it, because you are the one who once again broke my heart. I had hopes that we could mend things over the summer, if not become a couple at least closer friends. Instead you are ruining all of that, by going with the only guy I warned you about. The only guy I didnt approve of, and look what he did. He smashed your hearts, and you came crying to me. I was ready to catch you when you fell, but you just want to keep falling. what is wrong with you, am I that bad of a person to be with. We were literally having a great conversation today, then you had to cry to me. I am glad you still come to me, but dont go back to the person who made you cry in the first place. He didnt even notice you until you started wearing shorts when it was hot. It is so obvious that he is playing with you. Why cant you see that. Are you so determined to find affection that you are completly ignoring me. How are you even able to say that what we had is love, if one guy within two weeks of you knowing him, flatters you a little bit, and you swoon for him. You are under his control but you refuse to accept it.
One year 13 days I have been with her, one year 13 days my life revolved around her, then suddenly it disappears. I gasp for air as I try to understand what is going on. Out of the blue she wants it to end, she doesn’t want this relationship anymore. I at lost about what to do, I smile and say that’s fine. But its not, my blood is pumping, I am coughing because I get choked up thinking about her. This so called perfect life with her is now obsolete, we had this life planned out, all the way until we had children. I was the one who she said she wanted to marry, to have children with, I was the only person of the four she dated that she wanted all these things with. But within an quick 2 hr conversation this all disappeared. I am not left hollow and unsure, will I cry, I will not because I refuse to shed my tears. She says I was the best boyfriend ever, but what was wrong then, why couldn’t she just be with me. She said that she wanted to experience college, did I not let her, did I somehow hold her back being six hours apart? I let her go be with her friends until late at night, all I asked for in return was to know when she left. One year 13 days felt like a waste, all I did for her felt like a waste, I cant help but say that I feel betrayed. I feel that she has already fallen for the other guy, but I am thankful that she did it before she cheated. I am lying when I am saying that I am thankful, I am not thankful, rather I just simply agree with her. She said she didnt want to hurt me, then why leave me, but I have to come to terms with this and move one, because what dosent kill you can only make you stronger.
I’ve been heart broken, torn apart, left wounded and bruised to protect my own fragile beating muscle and I wonder sometimes why people fight for the feeling that got me there. The feeling that, in a second, could turn your life a hundred and eighty degrees towards hell. Then I remember…because it’s love.
For every individual, the effects of love are different. I can’t define what it is for you because I feel it my own way. For me, love is not wanting someone to be there next to you, it’s needing them to be. You crave their touch, their lips against yours, the sound of their voice, and their warmth. When they finally slip their fingers between yours again, placing them perfectly in the between, a sigh escapes your mouth and you can finally breathe again. Without them there, cinder blocks pile upon your chest, cracking your bones beneath them, aching your heart until the next moment they lay their eyes on you and everything can disappear. There’s no pain, no sadness, no anger in this world, there’s only love with them.
I described it the way I feel it. It may not be love like yours, but that’s what I think love is - recognizing their not your significant other, but a part of you, a half of your heart.
I love you, boyfriend. I wrote this for you.
Leave the R&B to Usher, the “JB” to the Jonas Brothers, the eggs in your fridge, and your woman jeans over your butt.
You can go home now, bye.